Terry Kufner (a.k.a. "Kuf") and David have known each other since high school. As the legend goes, the highlight of those early years was a gig at the local Shakey's Pizza Parlor where, depending on who's telling the story, they were either paid in pizza or not paid at all. They named their act the Pros from Dover after a scene in the original movie, M*A*S*H* in which Hawkeye and Trapper John order an army nurse to "tell the general the pros from Dover are here!"

During these early days, Kuf wrote several songs, including The Ballad of Dean and Sue, which--according to most neutral observers--has the greatest opening line of any song ever written by anyone at any time: "I woke up bright and early one Friday afternoon."

Coincidentally, he met John "bright and early one Friday afternoon" at the start of their freshman year in San Marcos, Texas. A few years later, Kuf met Dave, and the Pros from Dover became a foursome. As the group evolved, so did its music. They added more comedy and tomfoolery, and eventually they renamed the group Drinks on the House.

At some point along the way, Dave challenged David and Kuf to write a song with the punch line: "I'm so miserable without you, it's like you've never gone!" Both songwriters rose to the challenge, but Kuf's creation was easily the winner. Today, it is one of his most requested songs.

Terry left the group for a while, but he couldn't stay away. ("Every time I get out, they keep pulling me back!") He officially rejoined Drinks on the House in January 2009, bright and early one Friday afternoon.

• Because We Suck
  By Kufner, Harbaugh, Davenport & Jutras, ©2009 / Rated: M



• Come a Little Closer
  Words & music by Terry Kufner, ©2008 / Demo performed by John Davenport / Rated: E



• Miserable Without You
  Words & music by Terry Kufner, ©2008 / Rated: E



• Mississippi Queen
  By Terry Kufner, ©2009 / Performed LIVE by Terry, Dave and David at the 2009 Fan Appreciation Party. Digitally "enhanced" by John. / Rated: E



• Take Me Back
  Words & music by Terry Kufner, ©2008 / Performed LIVE by Terry, Dave and David at the 2009 Fan Appreciation Party. Digitally "enhanced" by John. / Rated: E

Ratings: For your listening safety, we voluntarily provide the following system:
• E = Everybody. You can listen to this, regardless of your age. No drinking required.
• T = Teen. If you watch prime-time TV, nothing here will shock you. Recommended drinking level: 1 - 2 beers.
• M = Mature. Of course, "mature" really means a lot of potty humor that adults prefer to enjoy without children around. Recommended drinking level: 3 or more beers.
• S = Serious. This new "rating" refers to a handful of songs that are deliberately not funny. We hope you will forgive us (mainly John) for these aberrant efforts. Recommended drinking level: However many it takes to make you maudlin.

If you enjoy the tunes, please send Kuf an email. If you do not like them, please contact the Internal Revenue Service and request an audit of your taxes for the past seven years. Thank you.

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